Finished Carl Jung's book about dream and subconscious. A lot of concepts remind me again of my goal this year: to really find and explore my inner world.
For a long period of time, I felt like my thoughts are very chaotic. Noises and random ideas are full of my mind, it distracts me, weak my power, makes me feel anxious and insecure. They are noises from the physical world, those common rules and standard which a person in a society should follow, they are self doubt about my future, my career, my love, and what I really want. They are comparison, I kept comparing myself with other in different perspectives, it frustrated me so much. I know I have a something inside, a great energy, it just be blocked by those noises. I felt stressful both mentally and physically. My emotion fluctuates dramatically, my attention span is quite short, I don't truly believe myself. I know I must change.
Building up healthy inner world takes so much effort and time. And it goes back and forth. Through constantly hinting and telling my value to myself, it works better and better. I start to learn that mind building is also a muscle memory process, it needs to be trained. Every time you train it, it just becomes stronger and healthier. Along the way, I documented some techniques I use for building it:
Every time those negative thoughts come, I just imagine there is a button floating in my mind, and if I press this button, I need to stop thinking those negative sides. The thoughts can swell if you don't stop it. Visualize the button makes me feel it is a real action in reality. It cuts off the process of immersing in negative thoughts.
Writing is way of meditation. The first article I wrote this year is in 1.1.2021 on the plane back to New York. Every time when I feel emotionally strong, or I can't hold it, I just open my note book and start writing. Those emotion is like water, it goes out when I write. Usually I become calm at the end when I finish the article, it doesn't need to be well written, just need to start.
Keep telling yourself you are very valuable. I know it sounds silly, but it really works. You should believe it not from the surface, but from the inner/deep level. You are very valuable and deserves everything good. Keep giving yourself good hint, it will effect to the subconscious level. And subconscious is the thing that make decisions.
It is almost the first month of 2021, I feel more clam, happy, relax, it is a feeling I am chasing for a long time. When you have a peaceful mind, you will be more emotionally calm, focus on yourself more and feels really good.
Explore the inner world is really important, I am on my way.